Stressful Relationships Can Torpedo Our Health

Research shows that unhappy relationships can indeed cause a lot of stress, a lot of stress that can cause all kinds of health problems. The fact is that we get tied to one another without appreciating how hard it is to be in a long term relationship. It's a little like trying to fly an F-15 jet without never having been taught how. The everday stresses accumulate and we and our partner can become each other's cross to bare. Especially disheartening is that most couples are clueless as to the real source of the problems or what to do about them.

In truth, we imagine our partner more than we "see" her or him. And so unless we and our partner have a capacity to be aware of what our imagination brings to the table—we get lost in each other's screenplay while mistaking what's going on for objective reality.

We need to train for the capacities to be happy and healthy in relationship with others, especially with a long term "other". True fitness includes a fitness for giving and getting love and friendship over the long haul. If we can't do that, our soul starves for connection and we suffer the consequences. This level of fitness doesn't come automatically. The goal is to be able to give and receive consious love in the context of a relationship that's an adventure—not a parking spot for our lives.